I'll Miss You Forever
by IBelieveInHeroes
Summary: Mordred gets reunited with an old friend who he hasn't seen in years, how will they react? Mordred/OC!
1. I'll Miss You Forever

**Author's Note:**

**Hello! This is my first Merlin fanfiction and it's about my favourite Merlin character... Mordred! Oh, Alexander Vlahos is so sweet! And a great actor! Anyway, on with the show! Please review, I live for reviews!**

Mordred felt the cold air against his cheeks and nose as he pulled his cloak tighter around his shoulders. The trees were only brief shelter from the cold but it was far better than the open clearings he kept stumbling upon. When he got to them he stopped and looked around for any sign of her but, alas, he hadn't yet found her. All he had found was a dirty ground, a destroyed fire and a current of strong wind. She would be here, she wouldn't leave him. She promised she'd be here. Oh, it had been so long since he last saw her face. Too long.

With every step he took, the awful feeling that the knights could find him at any moment loomed further over him. What would they do if they found him here? What would he say? Would he just be going to collect herbs for cooking? No, not at this time of night. Would he just be going for a stroll? No, they'd never believe that. A long series of scenarios played out in his head, each one different but each one ended the same way. Each one ended with punishment.

Or even death.

Mordred shivered and brushed the thought aside. He would have to face that hurdle if it came. For now, he had to focus on the task at hand. He had to find Lynette.

He swerved in and out of tree trunks and leaves. He wondered whether he was walking in circles, there was no way of telling if he was. He just had to keep moving, that was all he could do. His boot landed on a twig and it let out a loud crack. Mordred jumped and swerved around, breathing heavily. His eyes darted around even though he knew he was the one to make the sound. He turned around again and continued to walk.

"Mordred!"

Mordred stood still in his tracks and began to look around gingerly. He could see know one, not even the tiniest movement.

"Mordred!"

He grabbed the spear held tightly in his belt.

"Who's there? Show yourself!" He commanded, trying to keep his voice as low as possible but failing. There was a rustle in the bush next to him and a figure appeared from it.

Mordred let out a sigh of relief, happiness, melancholy and every other emotion you could name. He stared at the woman and she back at him. It was her, it was Lynette. Neither of them smiled, neither of them spoke a word. They didn't need to. Lynette ran to him and threw her arms around his neck. Mordred took a second to catch up and then he entwined his arms around her waist and held her tightly. She stroked his hair slowly, caressing each individual strand slowly. She noticed how soft it was, how it curled softly at the ends and looped around her fingers as she ran them through it. He was real, he was standing in front of her.

"I've missed you so, so much," Lynette whispered into his ear. Mordred felt his throat tighten and ache, his whole body went numb. He tried to speak but he couldn't. Lynette didn't care that he didn't respond, she just continued to embrace him. She never wanted to let go. Oh god, she never wanted to let go.

"You're a knight of Camelot now, right? Sir Mordred?" she asked, gripping tightly on to his thick cloak. Mordred was finally able to speak,

"Yes, yes, it's... it's better than I could ever have dreamt it would be," he choked, feeling hot tears well in his eyes. He tried to hold them back but he could help but let out a few quiet sobs. Lynette pulled away slowly, just enough to be able to see his face.

There were streams of tears running down his face and dripping from his chin. His eyes were bloodshot are they shined in the moonlight. The iciness of the colour suddenly stood out and looked stunning. His eyebrows were creased and his lip trembled slightly but he still remained beautiful. Not handsome, beautiful. Lynette noticed how his whole body was trembling uncontrollably, jerking and shuddering. There was genuine fear in his eyes that could not be mistaken. Lynette found herself choking up when she saw him.

"What's wrong?" she asked, holding even tighter on to him. Mordred took a deep and incredibly shaky breath and closed his eyes.

"I-I'm so alone," he breathed, his throat throbbing, "I'm trapped... I-I'm lying to everyone... I..." He couldn't bring himself to continue. It felt as if Lynette's heart had just been ripped out. It was agony to see someone she dearly loved in so much anguish.

"Shh, no," she took him again into her arms and stroked the back of his neck.

"I'm so sorry."

"No, shh, don't," she shushed, closing her eyes and inhaling his scent which she missed so much. Mordred pulled away to look into her eyes but he still kept his hands tightly on her shoulders.

"Come back with me, we can live in a house together in Camelot. It doesn't have to be very expensive, it will be warm and cosy. Just you and me like it used to be, eh?" Mordred cried, smiling through the sadness. Lynette tried to smile back at him.

"You know that can't happen. Not now."

"Of course it can! We can be together," Mordred was grasping at straws now, "please!"

"Who goes there?" A voice shouted, making Mordred and Lynette run. They ran for their lives, ducking underneath branches and dodging trees. They finally found a decent sized bush which they dived behind. They could still hear the heavy boots of the knights.

"You have to go!" Lynette whispered.

"No, I wont leave you!"

"Go!" said Lynette. Mordred's heart stopped. No, this couldn't end like this. Not again. No time to say goodbye. Who knows when he would see her again? Who knows if they'd still be breathing?

"I love you."

"I love you too." Lynette responded. Mordred leant over slowly and kissed her tenderly and gently on the cheek.

"Until we meet again," Mordred whispered.

"I will miss you, Sir Mordred."

Mordred took off and sprinted through the foliage as fast as he could, not knowing if he would ever see her again.


	2. Tonight, My Sweet

**Author's Note:**

**Hello! I wasn't going to do another chapter of this but my friend (the biggest Merlin fan on EARTH) persuaded me! Thanks! Enjoy!**

Mordred didn't sleep that night. He lay awake, breathing heavily. The knights had probably been out all night. What if they got her? They'd put her on trail and then what if they recognised her from...? No, he couldn't think about that. He blinked hard and took several deep, long breaths. He clenched his fists tightly to try and stop the shaking. He could hear clatters from outside and through the hallways. Each tiny noise sent a shiver down his spine.

The light spilled through the gaps between his curtains and poured into the room. Mordred got dressed and headed down to the knight's room. Every person that walked past him made him on edge, he averted his eyes and quickened his pace. He didn't want to speak to anyone, not now. He arrived there and Sir Gawain and Sir Percival were already there, polishing their swords.

"Where were you?" Percival asked, looking up at a very sheepish Mordred.

"What... what do you mean?" Mordred asked.

"We found two people in the woods last night. All the knights were on high alert," Gawain said.

"Oh, I was not informed. I will keep an eye out," Mordred answered, sitting down. It was clear to Mordred that they were suspicious, he tried his hardest not to blush. He hated lying. Gawain and Percival looked at each other and shrugged. Gawain suddenly remembered something and pulled a small scrap of red material from his pocket.

"I also found this," Gawain added, handing the scrap to Mordred. Mordred took it hesitantly and examined it.

Written in some kind of juice on the front were the words, 'TONIGHT MY SWEET.'

Mordred tried not to smile but he couldn't help letting out a very small grin. He wiped his happiness away quickly and cleared his throat.

"Interesting. Clearly a lover of somekind. Not sure," and he handed it back to Gawain. Percival and Gawain dropped the matter and continued to polish their weapons. Mordred, however, sat down with his back to them and smiled. She was always clever.

The sun soon disappeared beyond the mountainous horizon and the silver moon appeared. Mordred crept through the halls with his hood up, obscuring most of his face. He ran outside and towards the forest yet again. He reached the edge of the forest and headed in. He dissapeared into the trees and became a silhouette just like them.

It wasn't long before he found Lynette. She had her hair tied back in a messy bun, there were strands of jet black hair falling either side of her pale face. She looked beautiful. The moonlight illuminated her in a ghostly blue flame. They ran to each other the same way they did the night before and they threw their arms around each other.

"How did you do it?" Mordred laughed, running his hand up and down the arch of her back.

"I left it just where I knew your knights would find it. I escaped without a trace, I am safe. Do not worry. Do they expect you?" She asked.

"No. I do not expect so. I hope not," Mordred whispered into her ear. He felt her soft hair tickle his cheek. She felt his warm breath against her neck. This was all too real, it almost felt fake.

"Mordred, I will have to leave tonight."

"No, what? I-I... you don't have to," Mordred stuttered, holding her more tightly than he ever had before.

"I do. You know I do. I only came near Camelot to see you, my sweet," she explained.

"But..."

"Mordred. They will find me. When they do, we both know the outcome," she continued, "they'll kill me."

Mordred felt his stomach churn at the idea. He began to picture her being hanged or burnt in the grounds of the castle. He being forced to stand by and watch. He couldn't watch her die. He felt as if something inside of him would die with his oldest, dearest friend.

"Can I come with you?" Mordred asked, trying to stay strong but he felt as if he was failing. He felt his whole body go limp and he was sure Lynette could sense his vulnerability too. Lynette could sense it but that's what she always loved about Mordred. He always seemed beautifully vulnerable. She couldn't imagine him being a knight. She laughed quietly, finding his child-like tendencies adorable, the way he keeps trying to think of a way out of everything.

"Oh, darling, don't. Let's just enjoy these times we have now, don't think about the future," she said, bring her hand up to his cheek and stroking his cheekbone with her thumb. He brought his hand to hers and grasped on to it.

"Okay, okay," Mordred accepted, sniffing hard. He smiled at her sadly.

Mordred cupped her cheek and looked deeply into her eyes. They were green, a rich and spiralling emerald. They contained tiny flecks of lime and curls of dark green. They were clouded with mystery yet bright as a button. He slowly drew his head closer to hers and kissed her softly on her lips. Her lips were soft like petals, exactly like he remembered them from the foggy nights. The nights they spent together by the fire before the chaos. They used the curl up together for extra warmth.

It was just them.


	3. He Would Bleed

**AU:**

**If you will,**

**Please review!**

**'Cause you know,**

**I do these for you!**

Two weeks had passed.

Mordred never imagined that he could have a more painful two weeks.

Perhaps it would have been better if he'd never seen Lynette. Don't get him wrong, he loved her dearly, but all he could think about was her.

Only her.

He woke up from nightmares in tears. He found himself zoning out regularly. He couldn't think straight. His mind was a blur. An indistinguishable swirl of thoughts. A labyrinth of brain.

It was only two weeks and three days when the knights were called.

They all assembled in formation, looking straight forward. Their faces were showing absolutely no emotion whatsoever, only discipline. Arthur slowly approached his throne, his crown standing proudly on top of his head. His cloak fluttered behind him like a river of the blood of war. He looked so powerful, so brilliant. He sat in his throne and passed Guinevere a loving glance. Mordred noticed how beautiful she looked.

She was wearing a dark blue dress made entirely of luscious velvet. The neckline was covered in diamonds that glimmered like the stars. They sparkled a bit like her twinkling eyes, so kind. And her smile, so serene. Mordred couldn't help but smile at her. She looked at him for a split second and smiled warmly back.

"Bring in the prisoner!" Arthur shouted. Oh, great, another prisoner. It seemed as if there was another prisoner everyday.

The doors clunked and swung open. In came striding two soldiers, dressed in shining grey chainmail and...

Mordred wanted to scream, cry, run, anything to let out the agonising rush of emotion that washed over his body. The searing pain that rippled through his veins, poisoned his blood and almost made him cripple over. The soldiers chucked her down to the ground and Mordred watched her wince as she skidded across the floor on her knees.

He watched Lynette lying on the floor, helpless, vulnerable and weak.

"Lynette Arias? The sorcerer who was on the team who plotted against me three years ago?" Arthur asked her, standing up and looking down on her as if she was some kind of animal.

"Yes, sire," she answered, looking down to the floor. Mordred felt nauseous and dizzy.

"And we spotted you in the woods two nights in a row?"

"Yes, sire," she said.

"Were you plotting?" Arthur asked.

"Yes," she said.

What? What? Mordred felt like screaming out. He had to say something. He felt his whole body tremble.

"Well then..."

"Sire!" Morded blurted out, the whole court turned to him. Mordred suddenly felt sheepish now that all eyes were turned on him, "I-I'm sure you can consider this further. I mean, it's not very fair and..."

"Silence, Sir Mordred. I have made my decision. Lynette Arias, you are convicted of high treason and therefore... I sentence you to death in the morning. Take her away."

The whole world went numb and almost slowed down as Mordred watched the knights haul her limp body off the floor. Lynette's eyes flicked to Mordred and she looked at him to deeply. Her stare spoke a thousand words. It said that this is what she wanted. She got pulled away and he heard her groans as they tugged at her, she was in pain. Arthur just watched as the doors closed behind them. Then he just carried on as if he hadn't ended a young woman's life. He went to Guinevere and kissed her. The knights fell out of their assembly and continued talking between themselves as Mordred just stood completely still, not knowing what to think. He felt the presence of people and heard muffled voices of people but he couldn't understand or really feel what was happening. He almost felt as if he had just died and was living as a ghost. For a moment, he thought he was. He was a million miles away from reality, in a dream world where everything was okay.

But he still knew.

He always knew.

He knew that when he hit the ground, it would hurt.

And he would bleed.


	4. Bottled Up

**I've just realised how scarily similar this is to the last episode of Merlin so... please ignore the coincidence!**

Being a knight, Mordred had his ways of getting into the prison cells. Most of the time this involved lying and a lot of money, just in case.

Lynette was in the cell in the far corner, the coldest one. Especially at this time of year. Mordred felt the air slowly drop in temperature as he approached it until he was shivering. She was lying down, her head resting against the stone, her arms hanging limply at her sides. Her face was emotionless and her eyes were staring at the floor. Mordred slowly walked over and knelt down in front of her, leaning up against the wall. He mirrored her exactly except his hand was entwined around one of the bars that separated them. Lynette looked up slowly.

"Mordred..."

"Lynette, what did you do?" he asked. Lynette stared at him in confusion.

"I do not know what you mean, I..."

"Why were you plotting against Arthur again? Three years ago? I knew you'd done it multiple times before but you... you promised me... you promised me you'd never do it again. How many other times, Lyn, how many more?" Mordred demanded. In all the confusion in his emotions all that could break through was the anger, the sadness and the love was still hidden underneath.

"Mordred, you know that the Pendragons will be the downfall of us. You know that. You must understand that we need to put a stop to this. We need Morgana on the throne." she said.

"Lynette, Morgana is a Pendragon aswell."

"Is she?"

Mordred stopped. So did Lynette. They just stared at each other.

"I will get you out of here, I swear. I'm so sorry. I love you."

"I love you too."

Mordred could feel her warm breath again, it felt just the same as it did in the forest. He had so much he needed to tell her. He had so many unanswered questions and prayers. Everything felt bottled up inside him until it was sure to burst out and explode in a flurry of... he didn't know what.


End file.
